Lately, I've been noticing some of my Facebook friends’ names have started changing- back to their maiden names. It's shocked and saddened me that so many girls my age are getting married and then suddenly within the first 2 years of marriage, suddenly get divorced. Getting married in the temple doesn't guarantee the marriage will work out but I think being LDS we have more understanding and are told by our church leaders that you are in it for the long haul. It makes me sad that people are wanting to get married but then forget the love they had, make mistakes and aren't willing to take the steps of repentance and “have different views”. I don't want to offend anyone with this post but just reinforce that marriage is often not taken seriously. I understand that in some cases, people are better not together but it doesn't mean you should take the easy way out the first time around.
It reminded me of a talk that Pres. Monson gave this last conference in the priesthood session, I am just going to share a couple quotes from it but you can read the whole thing here.
“If you are concerned about providing financially for a wife and family, may I assure you that there is no shame in a couple having to scrimp and save. It is generally during these challenging times that you will grow closer together as you learn to sacrifice and to make difficult decisions. Perhaps you are afraid of making the wrong choice. To this I say that you need to exercise faith. Find someone with whom you can be compatible. Realize that you will not be able to anticipate every challenge which may arise, but be assured that almost anything can be worked out if you are resourceful and if you are committed to making your marriage work.”
“Brethren, there is a point at which it’s time to think seriously about marriage and to seek a companion with whom you want to spend eternity. If you choose wisely and if you are committed to the success of your marriage, there is nothing in this life which will bring you greater happiness.”
“Choose a companion carefully and prayerfully; and when you are married, be fiercely loyal one to another….“Choose your love; love your choice.” There is great wisdom in those few words. Commitment in marriage is absolutely essential.”
I love that we have leaders to turn to that understand us and understand what Heavenly Father wants for us. They know probably better than anyone that marriage is not the easiest thing but that it is so worth it.
All of these thoughts lead me to one of my favorite songs, Marry Me by Train. The most powerful words are seen right here on my blog “Marry Me, Today and Everyday” to me, that means that each day you have to re-commit yourself to your spouse and in a sense marry them every day. Pierce and I will be the first people to admit that marriage is not perfect, but it’s great. That we don’t always see eye to eye, but that we love each other more than anything. And that we want this in our lives and we want it together and with each other. I truly have a testimony of marriage and the quality of life it brings to my own life. I have a testimony that we are not supposed to end up in this world alone. We have countless examples of good marriages and I want to be the little old couple that has been married for 50+ years. Marriage isn’t always easy, so you need to “choose your love” so that you remember that you love this other person when it does get hard and then “love your choice”- work on loving that choice every day.
5 comments:
This post made me sad, and also really happy. Even though a lot of your friends are getting divorced, at least we have really good examples and see that even if things don't go perfectly that certainly doesn't mean divorce! I love those quotes from President Monson, and President Faust gave a great talk too, called 'Enriching Your Marriage.' We read it in my marriage prep class and I really liked it. Marriage is hard work but I agree, it's worth it! You're a strong/wise girl. Love you K.
Beautifully said! You do have to work on a marriage, but the harder you work the more you respect and love each other.
It's been amazing to me to reconnect with friends on fband see how many have been remarried. Already. As in, I am 26 years old, and some 24 year olds have been married 2-3 times. Life has certainly changed in society and marriage means such different things now than it did 50 years ago. In one of my psychology books it talks about how people will often have more than one spouse in their lifetime, just not at the same time. Life may not always go as we have planned, but we can work our hardest. And my heart breaks for these broken relationships, and I hope that lessons are learned and life moves on for them. I certainly hold no magic key or understanding in what makes marriages work better than others. I think what you mention is a great start though, and great foundation. Working to come together will never steer you wrong!
Karissa... I loved this post. I loved that you shared your testimony- marriage isn't perfect, but it's so so so worth it. you are great :)
So true Karissa! Marriage is one of the hardest things I have ever done, but it is also one of the most rewarding things I've ever done. :-)
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